End Game

Ever since Stu and I finished the Alias series [seriously, watch it], a certain phrase keeps popping up in my head: end game. They use it repeatedly in the show, talking about the final aim of the so-and-so criminal who's little conquests are all in attempt to obtain "world domination" or some other Napoleon-like goal.

I don't plan to take over the world any time soon, but I have been wondering: What's my end game? Do I know where I want my life to take me? What am I doing, what am I working on to reach my final goal?

I do know where I want to be.
I want to be a loving wife to a happy husband, a patient mother of righteous children, an educated woman, a good example, an obedient daughter of God, a best friend.

I am working daily to become these things. But I know I can do more.

I think back on the Young Womens lessons I have taught since I have been given my calling, lessons that I probably tuned out when I was 14... Every lesson, I feel impressed to mention my love for the YW program, how it each part helps to shape girls into the future missionaries, mothers, wives, leaders of the church that they will be. I urge them always to work on their personal progress and study the scriptures to strengthen their testimonies and learn more about themselves and the love of our Heavenly Father. I know all these little things that we can do daily can help us grow that much more. Am I doing this? I know I can be more diligent in my scripture study, I know I can be more focused on the speakers on Sunday, I know I can fill my days and nights with more spiritually uplifting things.

It's hard though. But I've come to know that it's the difficult things that are even worth anything. It's easy to gain weight, it's easy to be talentless, it's easy to settle, it's easy to be unhappy. But it is so worth it to work for what you want, to get what you want.

The hardest part for me is staying focused and remembering what it is that I really want. As we were relaxing on the beach this weekend [I'll post pictures from the trip soon] my sister-in-law Avery and I were talking about life and school and such and it kind of bumped things back into focus for me. The day after she graduated high school, she left for BYU and started classes. She took 20-25 credits every semester and graduated with a degree in special education in TWO AND A HALF YEARS. I was completely dumbfounded when she said this. When I asked her why/how she did it, she said, "I just knew what I wanted, I knew I wanted to have kids soon after being married and I wanted to have finished school..." Uhhhh yeah, totally different story when I graduated high school. I spent a summer doing nothing but spending way too much time with friends and the pool, took off for BYU, changed my major 5 times in the two years I was there, finally decided halfway through my 3rd year what I really wanted to do [different from all my other previous decisions] and now I am finally pursuing it full force. Why did it have to take me that long? I could be close to DONE already, not just barely finishing up prerequisites!

This is what I mean, I lack focus.

Not anymore my friends. I am going to work on bettering myself, work on reaching my end game. There are many spiritual things that I want to be better at, along with some more personal things that will also take me where I want to go. So I will make weekly goals, starting today:

[ ] read the Book of Mormon (20+ mins) everyday.
[ ] attend the temple this week.
[ ] write in journal (or blog). record a list of what i am thankful for daily in journal.
[ ] start a personal progress experience.
[ ] finish one of my unfinished projects.
[ ] prepare a new meal.
[ ] GO TO GYM.
[ ] set aside time to study every night and actually learn, rather than memorize.
[ ] practice patience and charity.
[ ] read at least three talks this week from Ensign.
[ ] call a friend.

I'll make a new list every Tuesday. I just want to see how I am staying focused on my goals. Hopefully I will continue adding new things to the list, more things to help me grow. Here are some quotes that I love:

"When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good [...] These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most." Julie B. Beck

“All must use agency in order to gain exaltation in His kingdom; inasmuch as we have the power of choice we must exercise that power." President Brigham Young

"As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all." Dallin H. Oaks

"Choices determine destiny."

And a couple from Danielle, she's the quote guru. Thanks Dani!

"The cause of most of man's unhappiness is sacrificing what he wants most for what he wants now." Gordon B. Hinckley

"None of us will become perfect in a day or a month or a year. We will not accomplish it in lifetime, but we can begin now, starting with our more obvious weaknesses and gradually converting them to strengths as we go forward with our lives. This quest may be a long one: in fact, it will be lifelong. It may be fraught with many mistakes, with falling down and getting back up again. And it will take much effort. But we must not sell ourselves short. We must make a little extra effort. We would be wise to kneel before our God in supplication. He will help us. He will bless us. He will comfort and sustain us. He will help us to do more, and be more, than we can ever accomplish or be on our own." Gordon B. Hinckley